Lord Frodo
by Gaelcelt
Summary: The loss of Frodo to Valinor; Sam's lament. Warning: slash; if you don't like slash, don't read it.


I own none of these characters...I'm just trying to get over that fact.

Sinéad O'Connor sings this on her album _Sean-Nós Nua._

Some background about this song: Sir John Franklin founded the Northwest Passage in the 1800's, but he and his team disappeared on the voyage. His widow, Jane, spent the rest of her years and much of her fortune trying to find him, and she never did. She composed this lament for him. (And I adapted it, as you can see, to fit the story.)

These are Sam's thoughts after Frodo left for the Undying Lands.

— ----

I couldn't believe it. Why, Frodo? Why? Don't leave me here. Please... what's the use? He was leaving us all... what could I do to stop it? It took all of my strength to not completely collapse, and it nearly failed me at the sight of Merry and Pippin crying as well... and Frodo's final kiss to me... it nearly destroyed me, knowing that this was his last... I felt pieces of my own heart, mind, and soul tear away from me as the ship sailed off...

_We were homeward bound one night to the Shire...__  
Trembling in my bed sheets, I sighed, so tired..._  
_I dreamed a dream and I thought it true_  
_Concerning Frodo and his gallant crew..._

Pippin, Merry and I sang lively songs all the way home...home indeed, in my opinion. It was no longer home in any way for me... Frodo said almost that same thing before he departed... and that moment, and those words, settled in me, jagged stones rolling about... home was half-imprisonment for me now... To see Bag End now, dark, emptied, it's a dagger to my heart.

Those songs were meant to help me cheer up...but they were poison to me behind the mask of composure. Would I ever be happy again?

I cried for Frodo all night, it seemed. Rosie long since drifted off to sleep and didn't seem to take notice. Was I ever so alone? I dreamed that night that he was well...that he was coming home!

There he was, standing at the docks. The careworn look about him seemed to melt away; his eyes regained that energetic quality that they once had, his shoulders perked up, his walk full of calmness and confidence... the smile so dear to me crept onto his lips as he saw me... he broke away from the crowd and we embraced, nearly squeezing the life out of each other... the sounds of Merry and Pippin running up to us, laughing and all of us hugging... Frodo's sweet kiss on my lips...

But I awoke to Rosie's sleeping face... he was gone... it all came back to me...

_With so many Elves, he then sailed away  
Through the freezing ocean in the month of May__  
To seek his healing, so far from home...__  
Where our poor sailors do sometimes go..._

He was so badly hurt emotionally. He had to leave us to find healing... those Elves... they took him from me... and so many have gone away to there... will I ever see him again...? How will I even know if he reached his destination? So many are gone... I'm still here... alone, lost... abandoned... the one that I love most went with them... Ohhhh...!

_Through cruel hardships, I vainly strove...  
My hopes on mountains of rock were drove...__  
Only the Elves with their bright canoes__  
Were the only ones that ever came through..._

My life, as well as those of Merry and Pippin, were battered so badly during and after the quest, but I was dealt with some particular cruelties. While Merry and Pippin carried on their love in secret, behind the backs of Diamond and Estella, I was trapped, with nobody to turn to... least of all Frodo... married to a woman that I loved, and yet, I didn't love her as a husband should do. Life, one grand to me, became nothing more than torment and anguish. I loved Rose, but as a friend more so. She was someone towards whom I felt strong tenderness, but she was not my desire. Outwardly, I seemed to be a happy, loving husband and father... inside, I screamed in anguish over him- the one that I loved... Frodo... I keep hoping that he will come back... I go to the Grey Havens, hoping to see him... but all that I see is the last Elves leaving...

_In Havens Grey where cruel waters flow  
The fate of Frodo no one may know...__  
The fate of Frodo no tongue can tell...__  
And Lord Frodo among his seamen to dwell..._

It hurts so much to see that horrible place again. This was the last place that I saw him... I don't even know what happened to him after he left... I'm sure that he lives with his comrades now... I _hate_ this! I'm trapped here... in what was once my home... and without him... I can't leave... I must stay for the sake of my family... I've never been so lonely... must life be so cruel...?

Will nothing help at all...? I am ready to leave Middle Earth... or to set my hands on a knife... or to concoct a poison... but will it help...? Alas, I must wait, to the dismay of my sanity...

I would still do anything for him... I would give away my money to find him...I would rather die than have this upon me... My darling Frodo... please come back... please be well... don't break my heart anymore...I would sell all that I own to find you...what are you doing now? Where are you? How can I find you...? Will I find you...? Please... come home...

_And now my burden it gives me pain...  
For my Lord Frodo, I'd sail the main...__  
Ten thousand pounds I would freely give__  
To know Lord Frodo, and where he is..._

_Oh Frodo_...!


End file.
